In all honesty I did not want to be “Fat and Fifty”. Having tried various weight loss programs since having my last child 16 years ago, I knew that I had to do something different; they simply had not worked for me. At least I had learned from these various programs what I should be eating, but realised that I was just eating too much of it! I stared bleakly into my lunchtime “trough” of salad and thought “I’m sure things would be different if I did not have to eat so much?”.
I had also realised that I was caught in a vicious emotional cycle of eating which I needed to break; this resulting in me feeling frustrated and angry when I got hungry a few hours after a meal. Eating something quick that I could grab off the shelf (usually high in carbs and made by Mr Walker or Mr Cadbury) made me temporarily feel better. However, being a diabetic I was walking a bit of a tightrope.
My consultation with Mr Hamouda helped me make the decision that a gastric band was right for me. His interest in my journey of being a “fatty” and his honesty about what my options were, assisted me in making the decision to hand over my care to his team. For me it was about trust and he helped me believe that a gastric band would work for me.
I had my operation mid-February and was pleasantly surprised how good I felt. Although I initially felt sick on waking after the anaesthetic, the staff were brilliant in controlling this and all aspects of my aftercare.
So here I am 2 ½ months down the line and nearly 2 stone lighter. I am not saying that it has been the easiest of months as I have had to look at how I controlled and hid my emotions by eating. Not being able to eat so much has meant that I have had to look at those old skeletons, but I now have the strength to deal with them and put them to rest. Exercise has been a big part of my lifestyle change, Yoga and Pilates have helped me build strength and become more flexible. Not only am I feeling more positive about myself but have started to develop a waistline, something which I lost 20 years ago when I was pregnant with my first child.
For me this journey has taken the unexpected course, it’s been about control; how I control my feelings and what I put in my mouth in order to control them. The gastric band has given me the strength and opportunity to take responsibility for how I handle both.
Now I have to get used to being a “thinny”.
I’m not buying a whole new wardrobe yet, but have dusted off the sewing machine and get really excited when taking in my clothes. After all, a girl has to get her kicks somewhere!!!